I haven’t had a paycheck in almost a full year.
Ever since I was 16, I’ve always been employed in one way or another. I could always count on having enough in my bank account to cover my expenses, put money in savings, and still have the leeway to spend money on what I wanted.
Willingly giving up the reliability of a paycheck every two weeks isn’t something that most people consider as a serious option. However, that reality is where God has led me, and the thousands of other individuals and families involved in YWAM.
I’m a full-time volunteer staff at YWAM Ships Kona. Everyone in YWAM, from my roommates to our founders, raises their own support. This will typically be a combination of family, friends, and committed supporters who believe in what we are doing and want to join in financial partnership with us.
When people at home heard that I was moving back to Kona after my Discipleship Training School to be on staff, most assumed that I would be paid for my role in the Communications office. The truth is, none of us receive paychecks for our roles. We all rely entirely on God to provide, month after month.
This can sometimes be a stressful reality. Bills are due, food isn’t free, and the basic cost of living in Hawaii isn’t on the low side. Sometimes I reflect back on the times where I was self-sufficient and when money wasn’t an issue. How easily I could justify spending an hour at Target looking for a new dress, or when going out to eat with friends was a routine built into my schedule.
Now, my free time isn’t spent shopping or trying a different restaurant every weekend. I budget, save, and try to stay responsible and above reproach in the way I use the money that has been donated to me. It can be disconcerting sometimes; paying bills and not knowing where those resources will come from again next month.
But I know that God called me to this season of faith and this ministry in particular for a reason. And I know that the safest place is to be in the middle of His will, even if the most comfortable place is one where I’m in control.
Giving over my control-freak tendencies to God has been a journey, and it’s going to continue being one for a while. I’m still learning how to completely give everything to Him. Money is one of the biggest areas that I have my fingers tightly wrapped around. Being in control of my money, knowing exactly how much I was making, and when it would arrive in my account made me feel secure.
Living on support doesn’t always lend itself to that reliability. Sometimes it’s just exactly what you need for the month, sometimes there’s a little extra, but the actual amount can vary dramatically. Sometimes the funds come in at the very last minute when you’re wondering how in the world things are going to work out. But the thing that God has been showing me is that it’s always enough. No matter what, He always provides exactly what I need that month.
God’s storehouses of resources aren’t limited. When I see my friends getting large financial gifts miraculously I can find myself doubting that the same gift could be for me as well. I can start doubting His love for me or His desire to give abundantly to me.
But when big gifts are released, it’s not lowering the balance on the rest of what God has for us. His storehouses are infinite and He has a generous heart. He wants to give to us, He’s not stingy or tight-fisted.
Being on this journey of reliance on God’s provision has been a hard one, but it’s worth it. Seeing the generosity of family, friends, and supporters pour out has shown me a new facet of His heart, how He is eager and willing to give good gifts.
He’s a Good Father. He has me covered.
By Brooke Everheart
Port YWAM Kona Communications Staff
If you want to learn more about trusting God in big areas like money, get more information about our Discipleship Training Schools here:
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