But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this”?
Before we felt God calling us to go into missions, I always felt like I didn’t have many skills to offer. I felt extremely inadequate and I would look at many of the ladies at church that led different programs and wished I had what they possessed.
I always heard the line “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips those He calls,” and felt it was so cliche.
Deep down I didn’t believe this truth for myself. I could believe it for other people, but not for me. I am just ordinary and I often prayed for gifting: “Oh Lord, if I could just be like her.”
When we started our journey to the mission field, I remember thinking, “Ok God, we will apply out of obedience, but I doubt they will accept us.” Little did I know then, when God looks at us, He already sees what we will become, even if we don’t believe it or see it ourselves. I still am ordinary and I still feel inadequate but I have learned as I have stepped out in faith over the last five years, that it’s true: God takes that gem buried deep within [us], underneath all that self-doubt and baggage we carry, and He gently digs it up and reveals it to us as we allow Him to do the work.
Who are we to say, “I can’t do this or that?” In the potter’s hands, we are able to become what He sees in that lump of clay. It took me 20 years to truly believe it and see it played out in my life.
An example of this is right now.
Spanish is my second language and I am not very good at speaking it. Four years into this venture, I still stumble over words and my accent is horrible. God doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, He asked me to stretch myself when my 18-year-old Ngäbe neighbor (an indigenous woman within the territories of present-day Panama) asked me to teach her how to read. ME!!!!
As I looked around, I saw I was the only one standing there. Ok Lord, here goes nothing. I didn’t know how to teach a native Spanish speaker how to read. I taught my boys to read, but Spanish is totally different.
My first couple of days were terrible. I tried to mimic what I did with my boys, but the words “cat” and “hat” in English do not have the same word families in Spanish.
I kept meeting with her three times a week but found it strange that she kept coming back. I, however, found a Spanish learn-to-read kindergarten book and the amazing thing is, she is reading! I do not know how God is doing it, but He is.
Every time she comes over, I still feel so inadequate, but THIS is the lesson. THIS is where God steps in to fill in the gaps. He is supernaturally equipping me and doing something through me that is not of my own doing. I am HIS vessel.
If He can do it with inadequate me, He can do it with inadequate you! All God is looking for is a willing spirit and steps of obedience EVEN when you have no idea how you are going to do it.
What is He asking you to do that you do not feel qualified for?
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